Help! My Wife is Addicted to Porn

What it is

One of the few resources written for the man on the other side of this, and it does not flinch. Its five points: depersonalize it, because her use almost always predates the marriage and traces to early exposure or trauma rather than to anything lacking in him; recognize the depth of her shame, since a woman struggling with pornography has almost no public company and stays isolated because of it; understand that her consumption may not look like his mental image — erotica, chat rooms and social media all count; do not make yourself her primary accountability partner, because she needs female friends, professional support and monitoring that is not her husband policing her; and get his own counseling, because he has been hit by this too and an unprocessed betrayal comes out sideways. Nine minutes, free, and unusually clear-eyed about what belongs to whom.

What it may help with

• My spouse's porn use has hurt me
• I'm a woman struggling
• We're rebuilding our marriage

How to access it

Long-form web article, about 3,000 words / 9-minute read None

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